The Manifesting Latina

Get Out of Survival Mode

April 12, 2022 Norma Reyes, PhD. Season 2 Episode 45
The Manifesting Latina
Get Out of Survival Mode
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode I explain how a scarcity and lack mindset develop. And what you can do to get out of a survival mode, so that you can move into a thriving mode.  You'll learn about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, how it relates to your career growth and mindset.

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Norma Reyes:

Are you feeling stuck, lost or confused about what to do next in your career? Then the manifest your career podcast is just right for you. I'm your host Dr. Norma Reyes, a career mindset coach. I help successful Latinos who are battling self doubt, self sabotage and impostor syndrome. I teach my clients how to combine their intuition, skills and knowledge so that they can manifest their dream career. It's time you start listening to your inner wisdom and guidance. tune in each week to the manifest your career podcast, and learn how to align your mindset to your career goals. Keep listening and together will manifest your dream career. Hey, everyone, welcome back. This is episode 45. And today, I will be talking to you all about survival mindset and where it comes from. So this is something that I talked about in my masterclass last week, and I just felt like this needs to be a Podcast, episode two. So a survival mindset. Right, this is a mindset that is focused on lack scarcity, limited opportunities. And I'm going to explain where that comes from. And also what you can do today, to work on your mindset. So to give you guys a visual of where a scarcity mindset or a lack mindset comes from, it actually comes from being in survival mode. So if you do a quick Google search for Maslow's hierarchy of needs, you'll be able to see a pyramid shape, where he describes our needs, and what each basic need that we need. And each of those levels to satisfy our needs. Now, this is something that I have in my psychology classes, my counseling classes, and even in my Ph. D program that we went over. So it's something that is very familiar to me. But you may have never, ever heard of this, if you're not in the social sciences field, this might not be something that you even remember, if you had a psychology course, you may have seen it. And then that was it. So if you're looking at this triangle, you know, it goes from the bottom up, kind of pyramid shape. And this is where a survival mindset comes from. It's from the bottom four. Right? So really, at the top, there's self actualization. And those are people who are moving towards that growth mindset. So we'll go ahead and start at the bottom of the triangle. So at the bottom of the pyramid, which, when I say the bottom, I actually mean most of the triangle. So this is the physiological needs, the safety needs, love and belonging needs, Esteem Needs, those are all at the bottom right. So these are basic needs, that are actually tangible needs that need to be met. And then those at the top are intangible needs, right, and we can only move up to the next level once we've addressed our basic needs at an adequate and fulfilled level. So if we look at the first tier, the first bottom tier, it is our physiological needs. So these are the most basic human survival needs, which includes food, water, sufficient rest, clothing, shelter, overall health, and reproduction. So you need to address these needs before you're able to move up. Now, as you think back to when you grew up, if there was something missing in your home, maybe you didn't have enough food, or maybe you had clothing, but it wasn't really clothing that you enjoyed to wear or wasn't very often that you got to get new clothes. Or if at all, maybe you had to get clothes at the thrift store. And while it was providing for you, maybe it didn't fulfill your need as the same way as that your parents were thinking it was filling that need. Now this might seem very superficial. But these are physiological needs that we actually need to be fulfilled at, at what we inside our internal self feels that it is fulfilled. So oftentimes what happens is that our parents, right, they also were raised in a survival mode probably at a more extreme way than we were. So if you are a first gen or even second gen or even third gen, you know if you grew up in already, whether your parents were immigrants or not, you know, you may, you know, have been better off than your parents when they were children. But they might have had also a very difficult time. So for them, how they are satisfying your needs is a way that they believe is sufficient, right, because maybe their needs weren't even filled in that way. So now the next tier is safety needs. safety needs includes protection from violence and theft, emotional stability, and well being health, security and financial needs. So these safety needs are the next here, right? So if you've had your physiological needs met, next thing is to be able to feel safe in that home that you live in. So you might have had a stable home, maybe you grew up in the same neighborhood, but it actually wasn't that safe. So you know that maybe you lived in a stable home, but there was no emotional stability or well being maybe, maybe there was domestic violence, or maybe there just wasn't any talking about any emotions, where there was isolation, you're all of these things affect you. And they affect how your mindset is built. The next tier up is love and belonging needs. So among these needs are friendships and family bonds, both with biological family, parents, siblings, children, and then our chosen family, which is spouses partners, and anybody else. This can also include any community organizations, churches, anything else that makes you feel loved, and a sense of belonging. Again, this is something that, you know, may you may not have had this, you may not have felt love and belonging growing up, I know, for myself, I did not have this, this is something where I definitely didn't have it at home. And I can definitely see how it can affect our it has affected me, and continues to affect me, in regards to maybe networking, or even in my current career, where I feel a lack of love and belonging, a lot of it could just be triggers, from my upbringing, right from not having that love and belonging need met, it may leave me with a gap of like understanding exactly how that need needs to be met. The next one is esteem needs. The primary elements of esteem needs are self respect, the belief that you are valuable and deserving of dignity and self esteem, which is confidence in your potential for personal growth and accomplishments. And if you grew up in a home, that was, you know, only up to level one or two, you know, the idea that you want some self respect or self esteem, in your workplace, you know, may be very foreign to those around you, because they can't understand why you would want more out of your life when you already have, let's say one and two, and they don't have three and four, so they can't understand that right? It's important to us to know, and have that compassion not only for ourselves, but for our family, who doesn't get it or even friends who don't get why we want more and why we want to demand this, you know, as we fulfill each of these needs along the pyramid, you are going to want to continue to go up. It is a natural progression, right? You hear about breaking generational cycles? Well, not everyone moves up on these levels for different reasons. Sometimes it's lack of awareness, sometimes it's lack of willingness to face some of the struggles right to actually verbalize right. As I read these 123 and four, you may have noticed where maybe you get stuck on it's important to go back and journal on each of these and where you feel you might have some gaps in each of these tiers. As I focus on these particular, four, right, the the bottom four of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, these are all what are called deficiency needs. These are needs that need to be fulfilled externally, right now, not completely externally, but there is external factors that are going to be influencing these needs. Right? You can't just, you know, be out in the forest. I mean, some people might argue that you could be in the forest and have all of these needs met. But if you're all alone, you may not have that love and belonging needs met. Right. So each of those physiological needs, safety needs love and belonging needs esteem needs all of Those are external factors, right? These are things that are outside of you that need to fill this need inside of us, right? So if you are filling gaps in any of those, and especially in your career, right, so this is in relation to your life as a whole, but our careers are still related to this, right. So let's go back to like, level one physiological needs the most basic human survival needs. So you need to be at a workplace, where you feel comfortable, you know, where you feel like you can go in, and you have overall health there. And then their safety needs, right, you need to feel safe around the people that you work with, and the and the people that you are serving, right, you need to have that security of like, okay, I'm gonna go show up to work, and I'm still gonna have a job. There's people who don't have safety needs at work. And then there's three, level three, where you feel a love and belonging at your workplace where you feel valued. Alright, and then finally, level four is esteem needs, where you feel self respect at work, where you feel self esteem at work, where you feel confident that you have potential and personal growth there, that your accomplishments matter. So these are all external. And if you're listening to this podcast, I know that you are at the brink of getting to the next level. And the next level is self actualization. self actualization is the needs that include education, skill, development, the refining of your talents, the refining of your talents, and broader goals, like learning a new language, traveling to new places, winning awards, you know, so self actualization needs are those big dreams that you have inside of you. They're all internally driven, right? So only you can decide what those are for yourself. And only you can decide when you've satisfied those needs. These are all internal. But before you can get there, right before you can really get to that growth mindset, because five, the top part of the pyramid is being in a growth mindset, you have to get out of the lack mindset, right, that something is missing from your life. And the only way to get there is by addressing each of those physiological needs, safety needs love and belonging needs esteem needs. Now I want to loop it back to Okay, now you kind of understand it in a new sense. And if your parents were immigrants, or like I said, even first gen parents, they could have been raising you in a survival mode. And they are most likely we're raised in a survival mode themselves. Our ancestors didn't have the luxury that we do, to expand, to move beyond survival mode to move beyond the external needs. Right, but we have that we have the luxury to move into thriving mode, it is up to us to do that work. So if you aren't facing your past traumas, right, these needs that weren't met. We call them traumas, but they were needs that were not met. Alright, variety, different reasons. right at you know, I went and I saw that love and belonging is a need for me, that wasn't really met for me as a child. For me, my parents barely gave me hugs, I didn't have an extended family that I would see regularly. I didn't grow up with either of my grandparents. And so there's very limited amount of people who ever told me they loved me. And so I recognize that that is a challenge for me. And then that will continue to appear in different parts of my life. So you have to recognize that every part of your life that is you, we are a whole person. And we have to work on those same needs that weren't met in different elements and different parts of our lives, they just kind of blend together. So for example, as I said, if I have a love and belonging, deficiency, then that is show up in the workplace for me, right? And whatever we put out to the world, we are also attracting that right? We are going to recognize that more, right things are going to trigger me. So while somebody may say something that had no intention to make me feel excluded, because I already have I'm already primed to believe that I don't belong or that I'm not loved, then something that is with no intention to make me feel that way may make me feel that way. So it's important that we take the time to journal and reflect So, where are these needs not being met? Where am I being deficient? Right, because that is where our mindset is coming from this survival mindset, where we are just trying to get our needs met our external needs, and knowing where to move over to our growth needs, where we are satisfying our own needs is by satisfying our first level of needs, right? There's, we can't get around it. And you know, I'm gonna ask you to go ahead and take a moment that just journal on each of these, your physiological needs, your safety needs, your love, and belonging needs, esteem needs, and self actualization. And self actualization are your big dreams, those big dreams that you have for yourself, whatever they are, you know, but you have to work on your mindset to be able to get there because let's say, for example, that your big dream is to become a millionaire. But you still have a scarcity or lack mindset, it's not going to work because the the energy that you are putting out there is only of all, there's no way I can do that. And so your brain will only show you that you can't do that. But if you have a growth mindset, right, if you are have an abundant mindset, then you will look and see the abundance around you the way that you could become a millionaire, that doesn't involve working more hours, that doesn't involve a side hustle. There are many ways people can earn money. And it's not just the traditional way of so again, if your frame of thinking was built on survival mode, then that's all you know, right? This scarcity, this lack the survival mindset. Growing up where there wasn't enough, where you had to compete to get ahead, or else, right, our parents had to show up to work, or there was nothing else. They had to go to work, regardless of how they were feeling. There was no PTO, there was no vacation time, they had to show up. Right? So this might have led to a belief that there's only a limited amount of opportunities, because if they didn't show up, that was it. There's no job just fired, especially our immigrant parents, especially those that were undocumented, tossed to the side, next person, or you can't do your job, too bad. Right? There's so many struggles that aren't talked about, and how that gets passed down to us. Right, I was fortunate enough that my parents were able to legalize before I was old enough to know, any different. So they had the stability of they knew they weren't gonna get deported. So they didn't have that fear in them. And they were able to push me to education, to know that that was my opportunity to move beyond from where they were. But not everyone's parents had that opportunity. Alright, so your mindset might have been built on a limited amount of opportunities, a limited amount of success, a Limit Out of career options for you. So please take a moment to write what are some of the limiting beliefs that have come up in your mind right now about career development, but career development for you, or others, or people like you. Because I know that you are at the brink of your esteem needs, where you want stuff, respect from your career, where you want confidence that you have potential for personal growth, and career accomplishments. At your career. I want you to leave this episode, knowing that there's an infinite amount of possibilities for you an infinite amount of possibilities in your career. If you can think it, you can make it happen. Because career possibilities are really infinite. They really are. In the last 10 years, there's been a whole new job creation. There's more jobs out there that you probably never heard of. You know, as I said, 10 years ago, there's there's no such thing as a social media manager. And now people know what those jobs are. There is nobody laughing about those jobs anymore. People want those kinds of jobs. Somebody gives me a social media manager job because it sounds fun. But there's probably a whole lot more work to that there is no thing there's no such thing as an influencer. But again, no one's laughing about that now because it is making real money. So remember, just because something goes against normal or traditional thinking. It does not mean that there's anything wrong with that. The crazier your career dreams are the better. They are meant for you So take a moment to see where you're lacking on those needs and reflect on them as the only way to heal yourself and know that it is safe for you to move from the esteem needs, to self actualization that it is safe for you to move from esteem needs to self actualization. That's it guys. That's it for today. Thank you so much. I look forward to the next episode with you. Thank you for listening to the manifest your career podcast with me your host Dr. Norma Reyes, a career and mindset coach. Learn more today on manifest your career.com