In today's episode, I talk about Self-Esteem, Confidence, and how they can affect your career growth. I also share my own personal experience with my confidence and self-esteem. The terms self-confidence and self-esteem are often used as if they are one in the same.
Self-confidence is how confident you are in your career skills. Self-esteem relates to how you feel about yourself (or career growth). It is possible to have self-confidence and at the same time, have low self-esteem. There is a huge difference between the two.
EPISODE LINKS
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In today's episode, I talk about Self-Esteem, Confidence, and how they can affect your career growth. I also share my own personal experience with my confidence and self-esteem. The terms self-confidence and self-esteem are often used as if they are one in the same.
Self-confidence is how confident you are in your career skills. Self-esteem relates to how you feel about yourself (or career growth). It is possible to have self-confidence and at the same time, have low self-esteem. There is a huge difference between the two.
EPISODE LINKS
Thank you for listening, please Subscribe and leave a Review, and Follow me via IG @ManifestYourCareer
Visit my site for more information: https://manifestyourcareer.com/
Get Tips to Manifest 10x Faster Subscribe to my Newsletter Today!
Welcome to the manifest your career podcast. I'm your host Dr. Norma Reyes, a Latina career and life coach. With this podcast, I help successful women learn how to combine their intuition and logic so that they can manifest their dream career. By listening to my podcast, you'll learn how to go from feeling stuck and lost on what to do next to having the clarity, motivation and strategies to manifest the career of your dreams. Each episode, I'll teach you the skills, strategies and mindset you need girl to get in alignment with your career goals. Now let's go ahead and get started. Hey, guys, welcome back. This is Episode 28. And today I am talking to you guys about self esteem and confidence. So these are two terms that are often used interchangeably. And a lot of people feel that these two terms mean the same thing. And I will admit that I used to think they were the same thing until recently in my own discovery, and my own inner work. So some simple definitions of them just to get you started on this self confidence relates to how confident you are in your ability or skills to do something while your self esteem relates to how you feel about yourself, and your self worth. So it's totally possible to actually be very confident, but still have low self esteem at the same time. And this may show up differently in different parts of your life. So you may feel very confident, let's say in your love relationships, and you may feel very confident and have high self esteem in your work. But then maybe low self esteem in your love relationships, or vice versa, or any other parts of your life. So if you look at your full picture of your life, your health, your career, your relationships, your family, relationships, your spirituality, whatever it is, whatever top priorities that you have, if you look at those and you measure your confidence, your self esteem in them, you may find that they're not all equitable, you may feel confident in all of them, but have low self esteem in other parts. Or you may feel high self esteem and all of them in have low confidence in different parts. This is perfectly normal and perfectly fine. It's just means that you have some work to do. And we always have more work to do. So I also want to share with you guys why I wanted to share on self esteem versus confidence. So like I said, I used to think that these were the same. And currently I'm going through my own 20 week program with Catherine's and kina and the manifestation babe Academy. And so the reason why I joined the Academy is because I wanted to learn more about not just manifestation because I know that's what it sounds like, but actually doing a lot of the inner work. She does a lot of NLP which is neuro linguistic programming, and really been able to rewire my brain to be able to get to the next level in my business. And so a lot of what I'm doing is really just trying to get to the root of why I am feeling stuck in my business growth and wanting to overcome them. So we've been doing this for about three or four weeks now. And I often get messages when I have questions, their dreams. And so I'd ask myself the question of like, what is keeping me stuck in my business grow? And so I clearly remember hearing low self esteem. And I've never said that to myself. And so to hear it in my dream to wake up. I woke up thinking like, Oh my gosh, that's not it. That's not it. I absolutely was fighting, hearing my own intuition and really just saying, No, that's not it. I didn't even do anything with that information. I kept it to myself and really was a little embarrassed about it. So as I started doing my research for episodes, I decided to take that leap and really reflect on it self esteem and confidence because for myself, I know that I feel very confident about my skills. And that is really what has helped me reach my goals. More on that in a bit. But we'll go ahead and just dive into self confidence and self esteem definitions. So self confidence is how you present Do yourself to other people, you might feel confident when displaying a skill set, right. So this can be anything that you can prepare and practice for, that can then translate to self confidence. For example, public speaking, and presenting are a skill that you can acquire through practice, you can build confidence through a skill set, you can develop confidence further through practice, and accomplishment. So we go back to public speaking, if you're winning awards, if you continue to practice, if you're on the debate team, we're on all these different types of things that can help you build and create a stronger mastery of a certain skill set, of course, you're going to feel more confident in doing this, this can be in anything, not just public speaking. So confidence is something that people can see from the outside, right, they can see you mastering some skills, but you cannot see self esteem, you can't see if someone has high self esteem or low self esteem, because confidence actually, is about merit and accomplishment. But self esteem has nothing to do with anything for the longest time, I was thinking that self esteem does have to do with confidence. But there are actually two different things. So confidence shows up as skills that you can develop and demonstrate to the world. Now self esteem is how you see yourself on the inside. It's invisible to the outside world, when people think they see self esteem in another person, they're actually seeing their self confidence. So self esteem is on the inside. And it doesn't come from skills, it comes from whether you believe you're worthy, or enough of the love of others, and even yourself, your self love if you and feel like you are worthy of your own love. And then it's easier to accept love from others, but not from ourselves. And so it's really saying you're enough without having to prove yourself, self esteem comes from you, knowing that you don't have to do X or Y for others to be enough that even after failure, you're worthy of love. So if you want self esteem, you must feel love from others and yourself. So we'll go ahead and dig deeper on that. Where does self esteem come from? Easy terms love and affection. sounds simple, but not that simple. So when you're born, you're pure love, completely pure love. And as a mother myself, I can absolutely see that. Now, as a parent and a caregiver, we're responsible for taking care of that child, right? your parents or your caregiver was responsible for taking care of you. And they can either help you build your self esteem or break you down. And unfortunately, sometimes that happens. So where does the breakdown happen is based on their belief. So when a parent or caregiver builds a strong sense that the world is actually a good place for you to be in, then the person, the child begins to develop that self esteem, that love is everywhere. bonds, when you grow up in a place of fear with parents who are fearful of the world around them, then you as a child begin to fear the world around you. And instead of seeing love everywhere you see fear everywhere. So self esteem comes from when a child is raised with unconditional love and support, and then the chalk and develop a healthy self esteem as an adult feeling that despite their success or failures, the people around them will continue to support and love them. Now, as we grew up, of course, you may have had that you may have had for unconditional love and support from your parents. And you may have been broken down from the community around you, you may have found experiences of hurt and pain that decreased your self esteem. So you begin to lose your self worth and that fundamental feeling of worthiness. So self esteem is at the absolute core of a person's identity and that core of the level of success they will experience in the world. So if you have low self esteem, low self worth, you may not be as successful and you really have to work at really just doing that. Enter word to know that you are enough. And, you know, no matter how much someone tells you, you're enough, you have to actually believe in yourself and do the inner work and really work in those past traumas. And as a therapist myself, I will tell you that if this is triggering you in any way, please seek professional help. It's very important to work on this if you want to be able to move forward at a deeper level. So children who don't experience unconditional love will lack the sense of inner value and worthiness. So like I said, for a long time, I assumed my confidence meant that I had good self esteem. And in a way, society teaches us that that confidence and self esteem come from merit, but they really don't, they don't come from work. Self Esteem doesn't come from putting in an effort, because that's opposite of what self esteem is, yes, you can build both confidence and self esteem, but they're built in different ways. So when a parent says to you, I believe in you, this empowers your confidence, telling you to take a risk and learning so that you can master a skill. When a parent tells you, I love you, they build your self esteem. This lets you know that you're worthy of love with no strings attached, you are worthy of love for just being yourself. If you didn't have love and affection or praise, you may lacking confidence, self esteem, or even both. So for as long as I can remember, my self esteem has been high. This helped me achieve my goals, my inner self, yes, you can add any goal that I wanted to do, I achieved it. Every goal that required effort and merit, I was able to accomplish very easily because my confidence was high. But those types of goals are two dimensional. There are checklists, they don't fulfill your sole purpose. They don't help you move along in your sole purpose, and they do not fulfill you, right, they are an achievement that can make you feel good and feel proud. But there's not self love, they're not filling your soul. So I realized now that my self esteem has been low in certain areas of my life. Fortunately for myself, not all of my areas of life. But when it comes to my business growth, it definitely has shown me that they are still some work I need to do in regards to my own self worth. So in my business growth or my slow business growth as it feels at times, I always begin to question my self worth. And to give you guys an example, this can show up as maybe my prices being lower than they should be because as a person with a PhD, I am worth more than my current prices reflect in some instances or as a reflected in the past, as I have raised my prices as time has gone on. So feeling that accomplishments were not enough to make me feel worthy, but no amount of achievement will ever make you feel enough. Remember that even if you have a PhD, even if you have a degree, even if you're the CEO of a company, it doesn't make you feel worthy if you haven't done the inner work, because no amount of achievement will help you feel fulfilled. No amount of achievement will make me feel fulfilled, having the business growth that I want and isn't going to give me that self worth in a lot of times when we get challenged by Life, the Universe. It's not because it doesn't want to give us the things that we want. It's not because God says no, it's because we are still not growing in the way that we need to. So if I had had the business success that I want it would I be looking at my self esteem. No, I wouldn't be so fulfillment doesn't come from the outside. It comes from within. So how does having low self esteem impact you? It can impact you in several ways. There's a constant exposure of negative feelings that can trigger depression, anger, guilt, shame, anxiety, or sadness. These emotions can feel overwhelming at times, causing you to lash out at others as a way to cope. low self esteem can cause career issues. People with low self esteem configured trying something new and you may doubt that you have any self worth or that you're not deserving of more from your career. You're not deserving in having a better boss, or you're not deserving and having a workplace that values you. So I've mentioned in the past that my parents gave me hope, but where I was given plenty of self belief, and maybe confidence skills that I could do and be anything and have anything I wanted, I wasn't given much love. I didn't have many hugs or moments of affection, or even I love us. Even now, as an adult, my parents still struggled to give me this. Fortunately, I have found people that love me for who I am, despite my negative traits. And, you know, I've learned to have self love in a lot of areas of my life. But when it comes to career success, that is a self love you got to give yourself, you got to believe you are enough. But you have to do the inner work. And you have to journal on how you're feeling. So while I have accomplished goals that require effort, goals, or require self esteem, like getting paid my worth, promotions, trust and risk are harder to achieve. It's hard to ask what you're worth when you fear no for fear of confirmation that you're not enough. This is at a subconscious level. And you may not be aware that your self esteem is low, but with some journal questions that I have for you, because you guys know, I absolutely love having some journal questions in there, you can find out if this is something that is keeping you from dreaming big, keeping you from chasing your career goals, keeping you from trusting others, or from even a promotion. These are all things that require you to have self esteem because you have to know that despite of whether you can or cannot do something that you are worthy of despite your success, or failures, that you are still worthy everything that you desire. So I asked you to do some self reflection. Is your self talk uplifting you or bringing you down? Can you learn to uplift yourself? Yes, of course you can. You can start with some self reflection. And then moving to meditations and affirmations. You can search for meditations that do inner healing, promote self love, self worth, and confidence. And look for affirmations that tell you how good you are, how precious you are, and how deserving you are just for being you. So self confidence shows up as skills developed and demonstrated to the world. And self esteem is how worthy you feel to be part of this world. Despite what you can bring to it just for who you are, how worthy you are, how worthy you feel just for being you. And you are worthy. So take some time to journal on the following questions. Do you believe others will stop loving you if you stop doing things for them? Are you reinforcing this belief by saying yes to others? When you really want to say no. to love yourself the way you are? Do you believe you are worthy of love? And of course, what else is coming up during this episode? What else is coming to mind? And then a week later come back and look at your answers and reflect? How do you now feel about these answers? Do you still feel the same? Where can you start working on the? No, when you look at these questions, they're very directed in the word love. And when it comes to careers, we often don't think of love. But we are seeking approval. And ultimately we are seeking love. It's just not a word we use in our career growth. So if you take these questions and ask them, Do you believe others will stop supporting you in your career growth? If you stop doing things for them? Are you reinforcing that belief by saying yes to work projects when you really want to say no? Do you love yourself at work the way you are to believe you are worthy of support in your career. And then what else is coming up. So that's how you can relate these questions to your career and growth. But really look at your whole life and see where self esteem is being affected. And of course as always, if any of this has triggered you, please seek professional help with a licensed therapist. Again, as always, thank you for listening guys. Enjoy the rest of your day. Thank you for listening to the manifest in your career podcast with me, your host Dr. Norma Reyes a Latina career and life coach.