The Manifesting Latina

Are You Resisting Change?

November 02, 2021 Norma Reyes, PhD. Season 1 Episode 32
The Manifesting Latina
Are You Resisting Change?
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode,  I discuss how you might be resisting instead of persisting towards your goals.  When we make excuses keeps you from reaching your goals. It means you are "resisting." In life we are always moving.  We are either moving forward or working to stay in place. ⁣ This isn’t a right or wrong thing, but it is important to know which you are doing. ⁣ Listen to the episode to gain clarity on what’s keeping you stuck. And keeping you from moving toward your career goals.

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Norma Reyes:

Welcome to the manifest your career podcast. I'm your host Dr. Norma Reyes, a Latina career and life coach. With this podcast, I help successful women learn how to combine their intuition and logic so that they can manifest their dream career. By listening to my podcast, you'll learn how to go from feeling stuck and lost on what to do next, to having the clarity, the motivation and strategies to manifest the career of your dreams. Each episode, I'll teach you the skills, strategies and mindset you need girl to get in alignment with your career goals. Now, let's go ahead and get started. Hey, guys, welcome back. This is episode 32. And today I'm talking about resistance versus persistence. So as we are moving forward towards our goals, we are always in motion, whether it is forward motion, which is persistence, or backwards motion, which is resistance. So to give you guys a visual for you, people who might need a visual, think of a flowing river, right? If you are persisting or in flow, or in moving forward, you're in a tube floating down the river continuing on, right. But if you're resisting, then maybe you're standing in the tube, and you're fighting to stay in place you're fighting to not move from where you are, right, you might get floated down a little bit. But then you got to like, push hard to be able to get back to where you were because it's comfortable or whatever reason, right? A lot of times we don't actually know that we're resisting, we feel like oh, my gosh, I keep working towards this goal. Right? For example, I'm working towards this goal of being in higher education, right? I'm working towards this goal, and I'm applying and I'm applying, and I keep getting rejections or I keep getting interviewed, but I never get an offer, or, you know, people seem interested, I get a second interview, it seems like I'm going to get an offer. And then I don't. And so instead of doing, you know, some self reflection, you continue to keep doing the same thing. Right? That would be actively resisting, because there's an issue there, you're not getting the results you want. But instead of taking time to reflect or ask questions or ask for help on what you're doing wrong, you're just continuing to do the same thing. So that's showing, you know, something that is resistant, you're resisting. And then persistence is continuing the stops, right, you set a plan down, whether you're looking to get a degree, and you just keep taking the courses, right, taking one course than the next course. And then finally, you're done, right? However long it takes. Sometimes we have this thought process that we need to finish in a certain timeline, but be flexible, right, as long as you are moving forward towards that goal, whatever the goal is, then you know that you're heading in the right direction. If you're not getting towards your goal, if you continue to feel like you're not getting any traction, it is really time to do some self reflection. Another red flag is that you might be making excuses of what's keeping you from reaching your goal, right? Like when you're pushing it externally. For example, when I kept getting interviewed for our higher education, jobs, but not getting an offer, being like, oh my gosh, I just can't see how great of an employee I would be. That would be resistant, right? It would be like not seeing that there's something I'm not showing, there's something that is not coming through when I interview, right, so instead of you know, putting it internally, like what am I doing wrong? I'm putting it externally by saying like, Oh, you just don't know how great I am. It's not my fault. And you know, as I'm talking about this, right, persistence versus resistance, and whether either we're moving forward or we're working to stay in place, just know that there isn't a right or wrong. This is just for your awareness right. The more awareness the more understanding you have about your own behaviors, and how it affects your career growth, the better equipped you are to develop in your career. You know, it's important to know what you're doing and which you're doing persistence versus resistance in order to know you know how How you need to alter your course if you don't know which one, then you can't make a difference. You can't make a difference in your career girl, you can't make the changes that you need. So I have three questions for you guys, as I always do. So grab a piece of paper and a pen and get ready to journal on this. These will help you to see if you're actively resisting moving forward, or if you're actually persisting towards your goals. Question number 1am I self sabotaging my goals. I repeat that again. Am I self sabotaging my goals? Self Sabotage can show up in our lives in so many ways. The most common is making excuses. I can't do this, or I can't do that. Or I don't have any time I don't have any money. If this sounds like you, you're currently making excuses why you're not reaching your goal. Right? So if I go back to the example of when I was applying for like career counselor jobs, at universities in higher education, and I kept saying no, well, I keep knocking getting hired, I keep not getting offers, they don't see what I have to offer. They're self sabotaging that because it's not having any self reflection, or accountability at what might be what's holding me back. You know, perhaps if I'd gone outside of myself to go ask for help, or even gone to the career center that I had access to, that I still have access to, we all have access to, you know, there's the Workforce Solutions. If you're in Texas, if you graduated from a university, they have alumni services that will help you. We just choose not to access those services and act like we don't have resources. And there is you may now be wanting to ask for help. And that's okay. Just be aware of what you're doing. The next question to ask yourself to see if you're resisting moving forward, is Am I doing the same thing and expecting something different? Am I doing the same thing and expecting something different? So guys, for those two years that I kept applying, and I kept interviewing, and exhausting myself, and just really being tired of like, gosh, I'm so damn tired of applying for jobs and interviewing, and all of that jazz, because all of that is exhausting. I kept doing the same thing. I kept doing the same thing. I didn't take any time to self reflect, because I don't think I even thought about doing that at that time. You know, and that's what happens when you're in that hustle and bustle mode. Like I mentioned last episode, you don't even think you just keep doing and doing you don't ever take any time to pause. And that's why having a routine is so important if you don't have a morning routine, or if you don't have a routine in general. And I don't mean a schedule where it's rigid or anything like that. But you know, creating a routine of having a meditative practice a yoga practice, and I'll go into that in a different episode. But you know, just start creating a routine that makes a breaker pause for you. Talk about that at the end of this episode. So now back to the question, Am I doing the same thing and expecting something different? So at times, we might lose momentum towards our goals? You know, it happens. And you know, sometimes we keep trying the same thing despite not seeing results. And so you might be thinking, I keep trying, but it's not working for me. And then what would be the reasonable thing to do try something different. But if you're not exploring other options, then you are resisting. You know, we can each figure it out our career path in our own way. But if you're not exploring other options, if you're not doing something different, and you continue to do things the same way, you're going to get the same results. So now, their question, is my mindset focused on the negative? Is my mind focused on the negative? So I'm working towards a goal, you're left with two choices, more choices, but let's just focus on these two for now. So you can focus on the positive or the negative. All right, so now I want you know, imagine that you're about to start a climb up a mountain. And before you began the tread up, you can see the point, the top of the mountain Then you visualize yourself up there, you're excited. And then you know, you head off to your climb because you're like, I can do this. And then about halfway through, fatigue begins to take over and you start thinking, Oh, my God, like, Why do I want to do this? Why did I think I could do this. And you know, you continue to focus on how much pain you're in how sweaty you are, how you didn't plan well, how you're not conditioned enough, you know, but if your mindset continues that way, telling yourself right, negative self talk that you can't do it, most likely, what is the next logical step that you're going to want to do? Right, you're forget what you remember seeing yourself at the bottom, you're going to forget why you wanted to do things. And what you need to do. When you're in the thick of it, when you're in the middle, and you can't see the end result. And you know, you're going forward or going back, feel the exact same, you need to take a moment to pause and break. Alright, if you took a moment to pause and break and clear your mind and remind yourself of your why you even wanted to do this, then you can get that momentum move forward. Now, this is an example about climbing a mountain, when it comes to your career, of course, it's a little bit different, you may be in the middle in the thick of it and decide, hey, you know what, that mountain over there actually looks a lot better. That actually is the one I wanted to go on, but somehow ended up over here. I'm gonna go ahead and go that way. Now. That's perfectly normal. And that is okay, just take that moment to take a break to take a pause before you decide to go climb on a different mountain and then get halfway and be like, well, this isn't really what I wanted, after all, take some time to reflect and remind yourself of your end goal, what is the ultimate thing that you want? Right? There's a few things we all want. We all want money, because, you know, money helps us get the things that we want. We all want personal growth and development. And we all want fulfillment. So when you are looking at your career, and you're feeling stuck or loss, it's most likely one of those things, right? You might be fulfilled in your current job, and they aren't paying you enough, right? They aren't paying you enough what you're worth, and you're tired of living that way, which is totally normal. There's nothing wrong with wanting more money for what you do. So whatever the reasons are, for your move your switch, make sure you're clear on what those are brain, you don't want it to be running away from something you don't want it to be from, like, oh my gosh, these people don't appreciate me, that's why I need to find a different job, it might be true, it might be true that your current workplace doesn't appreciate you. And that is okay. But you need to figure out what will make you feel appreciated. Because if you don't know what that will be, then the next place will feel just the same. So, you know, you got to stop making excuses. And really focus on what's challenging you and why. The key to persistence is reflection. The key to persistence is reflection. And how do you do that? You know, you take pause, you look at the bigger picture and you decide is this still right for me? Is this still the right direction for my career for my growth for what I want? And only you can decide that? Right? So all this episode is asking you to pause, reflect. Are you currently working towards your goals? Or are you actually actively working against them? That's one of the two. Everything is always in motion. We are always in motion. It's just a matter of are we moving forward in motion? Or are we moving backwards, which keeps us in the same place? So my final suggestion to you guys is journal meditate, talk to others, and really reflect on what it is that you want to do in your career and what feels right and then start taking some action. Alright guys, that's it for today. I will see you next week. Thank you for listening to the manifest your career podcast with me your host Dr. Norma Reyes, a Latina career and life coach. Are you ready to take action today? Visit my site manifest your career.com and get your free confident Through clarity guide